no more pain

ahem

2007-04-10T01:35:41Z

*tap tap*

Is this thing on?

Hello?
Anyone there?

phunkadelikk @ 2005-03-07T12:25:00

2005-03-07T17:25:54Z

It's my birfday and I got a balloon.

Nyah nyah!

phunkadelikk @ 2005-02-17T12:51:00

2005-02-17T17:51:23Z

phunkadelikk @ 2005-02-14T12:19:00

2005-02-14T17:21:00Z

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL MY FRIENDS!!!!

I love each and every one of you!!!!!

phunkadelikk @ 2005-01-20T15:30:00

2005-01-20T20:33:51Z

I'm so tired of everyone in my family and some of my friends.

I need to rant and get it off of my chest but I haven't had the chance to sit down and get it out.

Rant #1:

My fucking family is a bunch of losers. My parents are broke, my brother is broke, my grandmother's wrist is broke.

When I was growing up I always wondered why my family never BOUGHT a house instead of renting and making us move every 4-7 years. Well, when I got older I realized that it was because they never had enough money, and that their credit was shit, and that they couldn't save a dime if their life depended on it. When they moved to Florida when I was 18, I decided to stay in Chicago with my friends. It was better for me to have a break from my crazy neurotic family anyways. So they moved, and I thought that they were "Fixing their problems" as my dad had put it.

Here we are, 7 years later, and they haven't fixed anything, they have dug themselves deeper in debt, mainly due to my father being sick last year with stomach cancer. I thought me giving them some money, since I had it, would help. Did it help?? No. Of course not. I talked to my dad and he said that he and mom have just enough to pay the bills, the rent, and put food on the table, that sometimes they have to borrow to get gas in their car. When we went there for Christmas, all of our gifts were very cheap gifts, like ashtrays and flashlights and laterns, stuff I could pick up at the dollar store. My mother's excuse was that "Dad did the shopping this year" I told her that we didn't care, that it was the thought that counts.

Then I relalized that my father had no money for Christmas. Then I also found out that they have been borrowing money from my father's friends and family to make ends meet. THEN I found out that they STILL don't have health insurance. My father is 54 and my mother is 51 and they have no health insurance. Dad does freelance ad work, and mom is a waitress, so neither of their jobs would offer them insurance ... and they can't afford it on their own.

Not to mention that dad had stomach cancer and almost died last march, but thanks to the laws of the hospitals and such, they saved his life and he was in there for 30 days. When he got out he had an 80,000 total to pay. After submitting it to Medicaid and trying to get help, he still owes only a fraction, yet thousands of dollars for this.

And he's not had a steady job in years, they have nothing saved and no health insurance and only own their broken down cars.

It pisses me off. They are nice people and they don't deserve this kind of life, and I know it's REALLY TRULY their own faults for poor money management when they were young, but that doesn't mean they should have to live like this. They are just hurting. I want to help them, I want to pay for their health insurance at least, but I can't afford it myself, being a newlywed and a homeowner, I don't have money to help them ... So I brought it up to D and he said "It's not your problem" and that really bothered me. I want to help them and see them happy more than anything in the world. And after telling Darren these stories of my family time and again, he still had the balls to ask me when they were going to pay me back for the hotel room we paid for them to stay in at our wedding.

Well I knew when I paid for it that I wouldn't be seeing that money. I know that they don't pay me back, i don't really expect it. Believe me, I know that they are hurting. I wish I could do more.

THen there's my brother, what a peach he is. I love him, but he's such a little asshole shithead that I wish I could beat sense into him. He's been in three jobs in the past year, fired from all three, due to his lack of common sense and willingness to work. He's 20 years old, lives at home with mommy and daddy, takes their pennies, takes advantage, gives nothing to the household and then to top it off, he does drugs till 4am and doesn't call to say he'll be late, so dad waits up for him because he's scared he's dead something.

Then there's grandma, who fell a few weeks before my wedding and broke her arm. She's still in a cast, and because she's had a stroke, her right side of her body doesn't work very well. Her left arms broken. So she can't eat, or walk, or crap by herself. So SHE moved in with mom and dad.

4 broke asses, living in a house, miserable as hell, and I can't do anything to help them.

taken from that ho, solitaryfairy

2005-01-11T16:46:34Z

A - Accent: Midwestern. Only on certain words, Darren still makes jokes at me
B - Breast size: 36C sometimes D...depending on that time of month
C - Chore you hate: Laundry
D - Dad's name: Edward
E - Essential make-up item: blush
F - Favorite perfume: Be Deliscious DKNY
G - Gold or silver: Silver
H - Hometown: Schaumburg, Illinois
I - Insomnia: Sometimes.
J - Job title: Payroll Specialist
K - Kids: Kitties....?
L - Living arrangements: Own a house with my husband, Darren.
M - Mum's birthplace: Maywood, Illinois
N - Number of apples you've eaten: Fuckers!
O - Overnight hospital stays: When I had pneumonia when I was 17
P - Phobia: Dark
R - Religious affiliation: Ummmm. Not really one specific.
S - Siblings: 20 year old brother
T - Time you wake up: 7AM
U - Unnatural hair colors you've worn: Black and Red.
v - Vegetable you refuse to eat: Brussels sprouts
W - Worst habit: Nail Biting.
X - X-rays you've had: Teeth, leg, chest.
Y - Yummy foods you make: Pollo Linguine is my best.
Z - Zodiac sign: Pisces

phunkadelikk @ 2004-12-13T21:16:00

2004-12-14T02:23:10Z

A photojournalistic approach to me in the past 3-4 years

and finally....

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-29T16:55:00

2004-11-29T21:53:59Z

Im leaving this open, to anyone and everyone.

1. Reply to this post if you want/need me to tell you how cool you are!

2. Watch my journal over the next few days for a post just about you and why I think you rock my socks.

3. Post these instructions in your journal and give your friends a much needed dose of love and adoration!

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-24T07:54:00

2004-11-24T12:54:30Z

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-23T16:13:00

2004-11-23T21:13:39Z

This is even stupider than the trick-or-treat one. But i fucking did it anyway. And I don't like it.

</td></tr>

My LiveJournal 12 Days
My True Love gave to me...
12 ann_gwishs a-drumming.
11 isabella542s a-calling.
10 freakneedles a-ranting.
9 pintucks a-piping.
8 i_am_ashleighs a-bowing.
7 eremitans a-twirling.
6 drunkbats a-yelling.
5 copper witchyflickchics.
4 swallowing kysmetkittys.
3 Sicilian cadillac8s.
2 dog breesocialites.
And a solitaryfairy in a banana tree.
Get gifts! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-23T16:06:00

2004-11-23T21:05:25Z

I'm worth $1,406,171.10! How much are you worth?

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-22T16:37:00

2004-11-22T21:36:33Z

My japanese name is 藤原 Fujiwara (wisteria fields) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-22T16:18:00

2004-11-22T21:17:38Z

1. Tell me something obvious about yourself.
2. Tell me something about yourself that I don't know.
3. What is your biggest fear?
4. Do you normally take the safe route or the shortcut?
5. What is the one thing you want the most that you can't buy with money?
6. What is your most treasured possession?
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do the most often?
8. Tell me something about you sexually that I don't know.
9. Tell me something about you sexually that everybody knows.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
11. Name something you have done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. Are you the jealous type?
13. What is the 1 person, place or thing that you can never say no to?
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?
19. Name something embarrassing you did while drunk.
20. If you post this in your journal, do you want me to answer:

Nostalgia

2004-11-20T18:26:43Z

I miss Christmas time at home with my mom. The smell of cookies. The gaudy lights on every piece of shrubbery in the yard. The stupid wind up snowmen and santas. I miss her playing Manheim Steamroller Christmas, or her 60's era collection of Christmas records she'd play and sing along to. I miss the snow outside, and the bundling up to go out and smoke. I miss the warmth not just from the heat I felt when I was in the house around Christmas. The feeling of anticipation of what was under that tree for me. HOt cocoa, walking the dog and slipping an falling and hurting my ass...

I miss turning on the radio and hearing LIVE or Stone Temple Pilots. I miss turning on the TV and seeing Lisa Loeb and the nine stories video on MTV. I miss videos on MTV. I miss the grunge era, and my flannel shirts and guy's levis. Then I miss Nirvana. And I miss times together in basements. Then I just miss basements...

I miss the times shared with family. The time spent with friends. I miss holidays at school when we'd have special functions and we'd all be so excited for them.

I miss being excited before my sports games. Before basketball, at the warm up, sizing up the other girls, or in track when we'd all be acting a fool in the bleachers before our event.

I miss the innocence of back then, when I didn't have worries like electric bills and jobs. I miss being "bad" and hiding in friends garages with gravity bongs and pints of liquor. The only thing I do now that's "Bad" is the occasional night where I finish an entire bottle of wine myself while watching Sex in the City re-runs or possibly the new Will and Grace.

I miss waiting a week for the new FRIENDS episodes. I miss them.

I miss sleeping in on Saturdays.

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-16T14:58:00

2004-11-16T19:58:03Z

I want it to be 5pm cause I don't want to work ...

Good Morning

2004-11-16T13:43:39Z

Heh.

2004-11-15T21:13:24Z

Holy crap, it's been a Monday.

For real.

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-11T17:51:00

2004-11-11T22:50:48Z

You are "Excited"

What Japanese Smiley Are You?

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-11T14:36:00

2004-11-11T19:18:38Z

I'm sucha putz.

I saw the accident coming but thanks to being on cold medicine and me being all fuzzy headed - I clipped the corner bumper of an old ass van. Had the old fuckers used their turn signal and not cut the van off, he wouldn't have slammed on his breaks, and I wouldn't have hit his bumper. In Florida, rear-ends are always the behind-car's fault. Thankfully the man didn't care to call insurance because his old ass van's metal bumper was fine.

Whereas my passenger-side front quarter panel is now in my wheel well.

Thank you, old fuckers, for making my driving experience so much fucking better.
And Thank you, flu for making me take medicine which impairs my reaction time.

And Thank the gods everyone's ok....

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-11T10:40:00

2004-11-11T15:19:36Z

No one's going to tie your shoes- Do it yourself.

2004-11-09T13:43:37Z

Bumper Sticker read on way to work:

Support Wildlife
Throw a Party!

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-06T09:52:00

2004-11-06T14:32:36Z

What's the name of the artist that does this kind of artwork?

I thought his name was Jason something. I forgot. Please help if you know it.

Thanks!

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-05T13:57:00

2004-11-05T18:35:49Z

How fitting

You Are Whiskey

You're a tough drinker, and you take it like a man
That means no girly drinks for you - even if you are a girl
You prefer a cold, hard drink at the end of the day
Every day, in fact. And make that a few.

What alcoholic drink are you?

OMFG LMFAO MF

Your Drag Queen Name is: Connie Lingus

Get your own Drag Queen Name

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-05T13:18:00

2004-11-05T17:57:48Z

Taken from The onion

phunkadelikk @ 2004-11-05T11:53:00

2004-11-05T16:33:21Z

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.